When we talk about having confidence we’re usually referring to the feeling of being steadfast, solid, or steady in our decision/statement. We also use the word to describe telling someone something private or secret that we ask them to keep “in confidence.”
Confidence comes from the Latin word which means to act “with fidelity.” When we are confident, we act out of faithfulness to what we know or believe to be true.
In an act of confidence (or lack thereof), a really important question to ask ourselves is this: “To whom or what am I being faithful?” Is the action faithful to a value or morality that is internally held? Perhaps it is faithfulness a boss, parent, spouse, God, friend, or other authority figure?
Often our lack of confidence is because we are acting with too much faith in what another person says, instead of finding out what it is that we believe needs to be said or done. The risky work for this person is discovering and acting upon what unique interests, beliefs, and needs they have.
When we are too confident in ourselves, it’s because we have lost faith and trust in others. We can’t rely on them, so we act and live in isolation so as to not be hurt or let down again. The maturing work for this person is to risk asking for help from others.
Too much confidence in others will keep us from making our own decisions and discoveries.
Too much confidence in ourselves will keep us from making wise decisions and finding our need of others.