Most relationships I encounter in my office are suffering from a lack of trust. I think everyone is asking the question, “can I trust you to do right by me?” By the time most have arrived in counseling, the answer to that question is probably a “I’m not sure” or Read more…
Most of the time we don’t look at relationships as a separate, living entity. We have this idea that relationships are athereal, in existence but not enough so to have their own name, identity. I don’t think this is a helpful way of approaching relationships. Marriage is the name of Read more…
Evil is not in itself a thing or an entity. It’s the absence of an entity. Kind of like there is no such thing as cold — cold is the absence of heat. Evil is the absence of good. It will consume the good in those that let it. Evil Read more…
AlwaysBe Curious Always. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I pledge. For however long we are both here in time, the hope, plan, dream, and goal is with you, always. Be. I’m me. I’m not you. I’m not trying to get you to be me. I’m not trying to be someone Read more…
Some people will ask (aka demand) that you jump through certain hoops to prove that you are sincere, loyal, or committed to them. These requests come from very insecure or threatened people, and are done so to control and manipulate you. The problem is that early on in the relationship the Read more…
From the late Irish poet John O’Donohue: “Humans have an uncanny ability to domesticate everything they touch. Eventually, even the strangest things become absorbed into the routine of the daily mind with its steady geographies of endurance, anxiety, and contentment. Only seldom does the haze lift, and we glimpse for Read more…
When we talk about ourselves or others as being “broken,” we begin to treat them like an object to be fixed, not a Subject to be known. We are people with stories and souls, not an object to be used. Objects are made to do things. A vase holds flowers. Read more…
(Editors note: Confidentiality in our practice is of utmost importance. The story and illustration below is a combination of truth and fiction from the many marriages I have had the honor of working with over the past 14 years. Any names, details, or identifying information has been changed and is Read more…
The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy … to become familiar with our own truths Read more…
One of the most challenging areas of a marriage is a couples’ sex life. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but in the 15 years I’ve been working with couples, I think it boils down to one core question: Who is sex for? No one makes it through Read more…