Serving Time

Each day is full of potential. Usually this “potential” is beyond what we know to be possible. Potential successes. Potential failures. We sometimes wake up with great expectations, and other times with great dread. But we all wake up in the same position: Unable to change time. We can’t make Read more…

In Process

Practice makes progress, not perfection.  Voltaire said it so well, “The perfect is the enemy of the good.”  We are all in process. Not fully baked. Not quite done. Some of us are almost, but not yet there. We are all learners in different stages of our own growth process. Read more…

On Healing

The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy … to become familiar with our own truths Read more…

Letting Jealousy Help

Growing up, I always understood jealousy as something to be avoided like the plague. It was a sin, and we weren’t supposed to feel it. The message I remember hearing from church/parents/adults was: If you’re jealous, something’s wrong. As an adult what I’ve found is that I cannot prevent feeling jealous. Read more…

Befriending Grief

As I was driving into work one morning this past winter, I realized something: I don’t take pictures of the sorrowful parts of my life. Instead, I only take pictures of happy moments. I think this must be true for everyone. Spend 5 minutes looking through Instagram, your digital camera Read more…

5 Virtues of Marriage

Looking back over the past year is one of my favorite traditions. I get to remember the ups and downs, the growth that occurred, and see what themes continually show up. This is the first year that I’ve applied this to my professional life, probably because it’s the first full Read more…

Adversity Matters

(Authors note: This article was originally published in September 2012 at StartMarriageRight.com) I had someone tell me the other day, “Samuel, I’ve dealt with it. I’m done and have moved on. There’s no changing the fact that my husband just won’t love and care for me the way I need Read more…

The 15-Minute Date

(Authors note: This article was originally published in September 2012 at StartMarriageRight.com) Most couples that I see for counseling have not consistently dated in years. It’s an odd phenomenon that usually happens after the wedding; couples stop dating. The most common reasons I hear and see have to do with Read more…

Love Your Faults

Deficiencies, blemishes, and faults are what make us lovable, yet we’re constantly told by ads and media that blemishes need to be covered up, eradicated, and hidden. The reality is the bumps, oddities, and faults in each of us is why we’re able to form bonds and relationships. Think of Read more…

Parenting As A Vehicle

Hordes of books dominate the shelves of bookstores, teaching you the love languages of kids, brain rules for kids, and how kids raise parents. There are classes, techniques, and even some really stringent cult-like ideas that all hope to help parents master the art of parenting. I enjoy referring to Read more…

Time to Drop the F-Bomb

  Freak. Fudge. Freaking. Farfignugen. Feck. Freaking…. Socially conservative people, not in the political sense, find plenty of ways around saying the real thing, instead substituting made-up words and sound-alike words to communicate what’s really going on in their hearts. A recent study in the UK showed that cursing is an Read more…