The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy … to become familiar with our own truths Read more…
One of the most challenging areas of a marriage is a couples’ sex life. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but in the 15 years I’ve been working with couples, I think it boils down to one core question: Who is sex for? No one makes it through Read more…
My office sits about 30 yards off of some very busy train tracks. I’ve yet to count out how many different trains pass by each day, but I’d guess it is 15-20. In the Spring and Fall seasons, I enjoy opening the windows in my office to let the fresh Read more…
There’s a invaluable rule in construction: Measure twice, cut once. If you’ve ever made the mistake of not following this advice, you understand how important it is. One mis cut piece of material can vastly alter the overall structure and finished product. It takes a little extra time, focus, and Read more…
Before I release a pre-marital couple to the wild world of marriage, I challenge them to adopt two words (concepts) as cornerstones for their marriage: Grace and Gratitude. Here’s why. Showing grace implies forgiveness, acceptance, and a belief that your spouse is a better man/woman than what the offending action Read more…
If you want to be in relationships, you have to learn how to do conflict. One of my mentors, Dan Allender, says it well: “All good communication leads to conflict.” Most of us believe that good communication will lead to consensus, not conflict. The word “communicate” comes from the Latin Read more…
Yesterday I wrote about why couples need to keep dating after they marry. Sometimes it’s been so long since a couple has had a meaningful conversation, they’ve forgotten how to do so. When I say “forgotten” I don’t mean that they (or you, if this describes your relationship) don’t know how Read more…
The next time you find yourself in conflict with your spouse, take your shoes off. Seriously. Conflict in your marriage is holy ground. It’s where our life story shows up at a primal, non-verbal level. Our bodies remember things our words can’t describe. We offer silence and respect when entering Read more…
In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships.Day 1: The Gratitude JarDay 2: Gratitude PrayerDay 3: Gratitude LetterDay 4: A Touch of Gratitude The Lifestyle of Gratitude Step 12 in the Read more…
In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships. Day 1: The Gratitude JarDay 2: Gratitude PrayerDay 3: Gratitude Letter A Touch of Gratitude Often the way our brain works can get in Read more…