Most relationships I encounter in my office are suffering from a lack of trust. I think everyone is asking the question, “can I trust you to do right by me?” By the time most have arrived in counseling, the answer to that question is probably a “I’m not sure” or Read more…
The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy … to become familiar with our own truths Read more…
Our style of parenting has a lot to do with our story of how we were or were not parented. How we were parented created an “attachment style” in us. These attachment styles were first developed by John Bowlby almost a century ago. His work is a guiding principle in Read more…
Nashville has been hit pretty hard the last two weeks with an outbreak of tornadoes and now the coronavirus. This is not to suggest we’re special as a city, but these challenges have been pretty acute for a lot of people here. These two major events have illuminated how little Read more…
I’m sure you’ve heard someone say it, or perhaps that someone has been you, “I’m so afraid of the unknown.” If you take a step back and consider that statement, it sounds pretty silly. How is it that you can be afraid of something you have yet to know? The Read more…
Most people who have not done significant spiritual or relational work do not know how to do conflict well. Invariably, we will unconsciously adapt our conflict styles to what we were exposed to in our childhood homes. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree” is true here, Read more…
Each day is full of potential. Usually this “potential” is beyond what we know to be possible. Potential successes. Potential failures. We sometimes wake up with great expectations, and other times with great dread. But we all wake up in the same position: Unable to change time. We can’t make Read more…
Pressure shows up two ways in relationships: Couples who put pressure on each other, and couples who have been have been pressure treated together. It’s the difference between an insecure relationship and a secure one. Insecure relationships put a lot of pressure to “say or get it right” because the Read more…
Below are six languages that help speak to the building of an intimate relationships. We cannot build healthy intimacy and thriving relationships without practicing some of the below ideas. As with anything in life, practice makes progress (not perfect!). Passion – This is the language of “I want and desire Read more…
A couple recently asked me a question about fighting: “We’ve been together for almost 2 years and have not had a fight. What do you think about this?” My response was two-fold. First, what is your definition of a fight? Some of us think of a fight as yelling, screaming, throwing things, Read more…